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- Date: Mon, 26 Apr 1993 12:10:21 -0600 (CST)
- From: Farfo <WA14@UTMARTN.BITNET>
- Subject: How to Piss and Pass
- Sender: ALCOHOL & DRUG STUDIES <ALCOHOL@LMUACAD.BITNET>
- Message-id: <01GXGP2PBBHE8ZGCO3@YMIR.CLAREMONT.EDU>
-
- I found the majority of this information through contact with NORML
- in Washington. IT is summarized, organized (mildly), and reprinted
- here without permission.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------
-
- How to Piss and Pass
- - - ----=-=-<=======>-=-=----- - -
-
- * Washing your system - How much water and for how long?
- In an emergency you can start drinking water as soon as one hour before
- the test, 4-6 hours is recommended. There is no known universal dosage,
- but you should be urinating so often it is ridiculous. One drawback
- is that watery urine is produced. Sometimes urine is rejected on the
- basis of its color alone. Taking B-complex vitamins will help keep
- the urine yellow.
-
- * Drinking vinegar does not work.
-
- * Urinaid is one additive that works every time. Pour the contents of
- the vail into your sample during the collection procedure. Don't
- drink it! This method will not work on RIA - it won't pass military
- tests.
-
- * Visine does not work.
-
- * Powdered urine from Byrd Labs works fine for those not sure about
- the integrity of a friends sample. Prepare ahead of time, directions
- are included.
-
- * Niacin and Golden Seal have shown encouragement, but they are
- inconsistant. This urinator would not chance it.
-
- * Don't rely on the ibuprofen alibi. Anyone who has taken enough
- ibuprofen to cause a false positive above the 100ng cut-off (impossible)
- can rest assured: The GC/MS confirmation tests will confirm that it is
- indeed ibuprofen.
-
- * The length of time or a THC positive varies. The average time for the
- regular user is less than two weeks. Water is a good method for these
- people, as insurance. An infrequent user should not have to worry
- after a couple of days.
-
- * Substitution is the most interesting and challenging approach. IF you
- really hate the Bladder Cops, this can be quite gratifying. If you are
- using a friend's urine, be sure you know what drugs they have taken over
- the last month. There is no definitive test for amphetamines, OTC
- remidies such as Contac and Alka-Seltzer are notorious. If you don't
- list it, most any drug can get you into just as much trouble. For any
- substitution be prepared to give 60cc. Also be sure it falls within the
- 91-97 degree temperature range. Most often the test containers have a
- tape on the side indicating the samples temp. Whatever the container,
- it must open quietly. Toilet paper is a convienient, provided,
- insulator. Many collections require that you change into a `gown.'
- By using a vial or condom taped to the inner thigh, you can get around
- the gown as well as the temperature requirement. Most importantly -
- practice! Practice until you have made it a fine art. a woman with a
- shirt can fake urination even with an observer in the room. A man with
- his back to an observer can do just as well. Abbie Hoffman suggested a
- few drops of urine on the seat or on ones shoe as an added measure of
- authenticity.
-
- * If you can't pass the test - screw over the chain of custody. This
- involves safety seals, signatures and treating your urine like serious
- stuff. Act nervous. Sign the papers differently in different places.
- Initial the wrong place and then scribble it out. If the official is
- not paying attention, mark in the `do not mark' areas. These papers are
- reviewed before analysis, if they are inconsistant, your sample will be
- voided.
-
- * If you fail the test, Raise hell. A urine test gone wrong can make a
- passive person rabid. Don't take it to court. It is virtually impossible
- to win a case, especially in pre-employment. All positive samples are
- kept in the labs for two years.
-
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-
- Urinaid and Powered Urine are both available through Butterfield-Jay
- Foundation, P.O. Box 57214, Oklahoma City, OK 73157. For more
- information call (405) 521-URINE. A machine will answer. Calls will
- be returned collect. Two samples for $25 or ten for $100, for both
- products.
-
- NORML operates a Drug Testing & Information Hotline. The charge is
- $2.95 per minute. 900-97-NORML
-
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